Garbage happens to EVERYONE

At times, dealing with Cowden’s Syndrome takes all my energy that I have none left to worry about the 2 brain tumors I have. (Wait. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?)

But when Thursdays come around I take to The Twitter and do what I can to raise awareness for brain tumors, rare benign and malignant ones, too.

This past Thursday I tweeted:

Brain tumors & #raredisease messed w/the WRONG GIRL! I’m mad & ticked off! #btsm #BrainTumorThursday #CowdensSyndrome #gangliocytoma #pten

And you know what? I am mad. Mad that I don’t have a good-paying job anymore. Mad that I don’t have the stamina I did before surgery. Mad that I don’t have the l life I once did. Mad that I don’t have a carefree attitude. Mad that I am struggling. Mad that I now have so much worry of the brain tumors growing or having cancer in my breasts or someplace else in my body. Mad. Just effing mad.

For these past (almost) 3 years, I have run on fear. Fear of brain tumor growth or cancer anywhere in my body. Fear of the unknown. Fear sucks. Fear is a nasty S.O.B. I get all that. And, what’s more, I get that as I’m writing this post: Garbage happens to EVERYONE. Anytime, anyplace, anywhere. It just so happened that mine was in the form of 2 brain surgeries a week apart and a diagnosis of 2 rare diseases called Cowden’s Syndrome and Lhermitte-duclos Disease that pretty much no one ever has heard of.

I get it.

But, I also get that for these past few days…I’m mad and it’s OK. I know how important it is to express my feelings and thoughts in a safe place (this blog). I no longer will ignore my feelings. I am mad about all this crap and I own it here.

3 thoughts on “Garbage happens to EVERYONE

  1. Mad is the feeling you get when you realize what you’re living through sucks. And YOU are living through it. Not someone else. So it DOES suck more than what everyone else is living through. Rage on. Live it. Feel it. Throw it around. Cuss. Scream. Punch things. Then move on. Don’t stay too long. Owning it is important. Just don’t let it own you.

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