Sort of weird name for a blog post, but just applicable for today.  I’m really struggling with what happened to my tongue.  No one (doctors) can seem to tell me what happened as to why I almost bit entirely through it.  My primary doctor this morning read through the surgery report and not one thing was listed about it.  Hum.  Doesn’t that seem weird to you?  My primary said she was following all about me while I was in the hospital and she was reading the nurses’ notes about “tongue swelling”.  That is not the same as “BITING YOUR TONGUE ALMOST OFF!”.  GAH…

NOTE:  Dr. Mom says I am exaggerating and that it wasn’t “almost off”…it was just swollen (as the nurses had written, I guess).  As time went on and the swelling went down, one could then see definite bite marks on the top and bottom of my tongue.  (These are just details to me – however, I still feel very odd about this entire thing.)  Yes, I ate popsicles and my tongue has healed (which I am very, very, thankful!) – and with this I now am fully at peace knowing that one can feel thankful and also other emotions at the same time.

Who is to blame?  I’m mad.  I’m ticked off.  Who missed this?  Is this one of the “risks of surgery” or was someone completely negligent about my care?  Who was responsible for me and watching that I was OK?  I know my surgeon was working on my  brain and getting “CHUCK” out…but why did this happen?  I am really angry about this and of course I know we can’t go back and fix this and make it better but I feel kind of violated so to speak.  There I am, laying (or lying) and WHAT WERE ALL THE PEOPLE DOING WHEN I WAS BITING THROUGH MY TONGUE?! 

I think part of this is that I just don’t want it to happen to someone else – yet, I know if I ask my surgeon he will have no response for me as to why/how this happened and who’s fault this was.  I know we can’t go back and fix this and what will the answer give me?  So, I find out it was “So and so’s job to watch me” and they didn’t…then what?  What will that give me?  A big fat ZERO.  It won’t change the fact that my tongue got injured…but guess what?  IT HEALED.  HEATHER – focus on that.  OK?


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