I went for a mammogram this morning. And then the radiologist wanted more pictures of my right breast. Then the doctor wanted an ultrasound of my right breast. And as my counselor and I have discussed, I went right to “Z”.
I was all alone in the room waiting for the technician to get back from lunch. It was a very hard morning. I haven’t eaten. I can’t think straight. But the nice thing was the doctor came in during the test. She talked to me and watched and was very involved during the ultrasound. She was looking at the screen, feeling my breast, and I was hearing the word, “Calcification”…then I heard the word, “Dilated ducts”…and then she felt my left one to see if it was the “same”.
She downplayed the phrase, wanted me to be checked in 6 months anyways but since I am getting an MRI in 6 months that will be checked out. She said it was very good that I just had the breast MRI 6 months ago and that was a very good way to check if there was cancer. Since there wasn’t any 6 months ago.
I’ll admit I’m scared as hell right now.
Then there’s my friend G.oogle where I can turn to him and find out more about dilated ducts and there’s this one line that didn’t sit well with me:
BreastCancer.org cautions that some dilated ducts may display atypical hyperplasia — the overgrowth of abnormal cells that may increase a patient’s risk for developing breast cancer
Thanks to my friend Cowden’s Syndrome (PTEN Hamartoma Tumor Syndrome) my body doesn’t know how to stop making tumors. Overgrowths.
I’m not sure if I can go through this every 6 months for the rest of my life. Just sayin. You can’t really see this picture very well but it’s the mammogram machine. I have this app on my iPod called “Marble Cam” and I edited the picture. Taking pictures and posting it to my T.witter account has been very healing, odd as that sounds. Taking pictures of this HARD road but then being able to be creative and edit them as I see fit is another good outlet for me. Another way for my voice to be heard.