And what have I done this morning?
1). I woke up late. Crap.
2). Didn’t get a substitute teaching call. Crap x2.
3). Found out I had 110 views to my blog today. WHUUUUT? But thanks! 🙂
4). Haven’t worked out yet BUT I WILL DANGIT!
5). Have pondered about my laundry that needs folding.
6). Sent some tweets about #Braintumorthursday (Wait…I haven’t posted about that. I NEED to do that ASAP!)
7). I’m trying to learn more about WordPress and how to make my blog look more…um. What word do I mean? Spicy? No. Peppy? I don’t know. I was looking at different fonts and stuff but those don’t come on a silver platter for FREE. And I still have no dinero coming in.
8). Which leads me to my last one now. Last night I was thinking about feasts and famines. How before I got sick last summer I was really feasting. I had a relatively good job at JOB X, making an incredible amount of money (for me). I paid off a huge chunk of a credit card, I had money in savings, I was able to go to places without worry or fear of finances. Now, I’m in the famine. Literally. I have $200 in my checking account and savings are dwindling FAST. I know that’s the point of having a savings account so that you can pull to them WHEN you need them. It sure helped me out this last year. But I can’t go to places like I once did (this last weekend was a special occasion budgeted for), and I feel a bit disconnected from the real world. I can’t go to Y or Z because I don’t have gas money, or I can’t go to dinner or lunch because I don’t have money for lunch. I don’t write about this for pity, I write about it to point out that I must believe this too shall pass. I was feasting before and maybe I didn’t appreciate it as much as I should have? I’m not sure. I thought I did. But you can rest assured that when this ROUGH time passes and when I find a job that I can balance between my incessant medical appointments I will be utterly grateful for the good times. As crazy as it sounds now, I guess in a way I am thankful for this famine. It makes me miss the feast, or at least recall how good I had it then. But, then I always remember the GOODNESS I have now. I have a family who supports me and takes care of me. I have a bed to sleep, food to eat, a roof over my head, a car that runs to get to substitute teaching jobs WHEN they do come in, and same car that gets me to medical appointments. AND, lest I forget that fact that I CAN DRIVE myself to the medical appointments.
So, I have to hold on. I have to keep my faith that this will pass. This will get better. It’s going to be rocky still. But in the meantime I can focus on the volunteer work that I am doing with the English Learner (which I really am loving by the way), and looking for other ways to be of service.