Today is Thursday

And what have I done this morning?

1).  I woke up late.  Crap.

2).  Didn’t get a substitute teaching call.  Crap x2.

3).  Found out I had 110 views to my blog today.  WHUUUUT?  But thanks!  🙂

4).  Haven’t worked out yet BUT I WILL DANGIT!

5).  Have pondered about my laundry that needs folding.

6).  Sent some tweets about #Braintumorthursday (Wait…I haven’t posted about that.  I NEED to do that ASAP!)

7).  I’m trying to learn more about WordPress and how to make my blog look more…um.  What word do I mean?  Spicy?  No.  Peppy?  I don’t know.  I was looking at different fonts and stuff but those don’t come on a silver platter for FREE.  And I still have no dinero coming in.

8).  Which leads me to my last one now.  Last night I was thinking about feasts and famines.  How before I got sick last summer I was really feasting.  I had a relatively good job at JOB X, making an incredible amount of money (for me).  I paid off a huge chunk of a credit card, I had money in savings, I was able to go to places without worry or fear of finances.  Now, I’m in the famine.  Literally.  I have $200 in my checking account and savings are dwindling FAST.  I know that’s the point of having a savings account so that you can pull to them WHEN you need them.  It sure helped me out this last year.  But I can’t go to places like I once did (this last weekend was a special occasion budgeted for), and I feel a bit disconnected from the real world.  I can’t go to Y or Z because I don’t have gas money, or I can’t go to dinner or lunch because I don’t have money for lunch.  I don’t write about this for pity, I write about it to point out that I must believe this too shall pass.   I was feasting before and maybe I didn’t appreciate it as much as I should have?  I’m not sure.  I thought I did.  But you can rest assured that when this ROUGH time passes and when I find a job that I can balance between my incessant medical appointments I will be utterly grateful for the good times.  As crazy as it sounds now, I guess in a way I am thankful for this famine. It makes me miss the feast, or at least recall how good I had it then.  But, then I always remember the GOODNESS I have now.  I have a family who supports me and takes care of me.  I have a bed to sleep, food to eat, a roof over my head, a car that runs to get to substitute teaching jobs WHEN they do come in, and same car that gets me to medical appointments.  AND, lest I forget that fact that I CAN DRIVE myself to the medical appointments.

So, I have to hold on.  I have to keep my faith that this will pass.  This will get better.  It’s going to be rocky still.  But in the meantime I can focus on the volunteer work that I am doing with the English Learner (which I really am loving by the way), and looking for other ways to be of service.

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3 thoughts on “Today is Thursday

  1. Wow well I just want to say that I understand you ❤ and I've known for the last two years that God has me here for a purpose…or several purposes. One of them is to be satisfied full in him alone (I'm not there yet!) I'm also more focused on him because I have the TIME to be. I have the luxury of time, and so do you. It's challenging this way, but I promise you that when you get into acceptance, you'll have an awesome sense of peace. Thank you for your courage and thank you for your service to somebody in need in the community. Your time isn't being wasted. Give yourself a break sister =)

  2. There have definitely been famines in my life and this is one of them too… but looking back at others, I thought I would Never get through them. That things could never get better. I blamed God at times even because the famine didnt seem fair. But after the storm passed and the feast came I look back with greatfulness because it built my spirit up strong. I gained a testimony of how the rain is needed for crops to grow. (Dont mind the pun lol) There are days now that the famine seems unfair and I dont understand it.. but its because of friends who have faith like yours and keep me lifted up that I am reminded that there is a feast coming and a reason I am going through this right now. Something great is on the horizon. And I have faith in that. You’re an amazing woman and I am greatful and proud that you are my friend xoxo

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