I just do. Plain and simple.
Here are a few reasons about why I feel so strongly about this:
1). Excusing myself to use the Ladies Room every hour really takes a toll on my psyche. Every moment I think to myself, “Wait! Is the desmopressin finally kicking in? Is the volume slowing down? What is going on with my body? There is something seriously wrong with me. What’s going on? I’m scared. But where’s my faith? Can my doctors fix this? Is it because of the gangliocytomas or is there something wrong with my pituitary? I don’t have sugar diabetes so what’s causing this? Something is wrong. This isn’t normal. I shouldn’t be this thirsty and going to the restroom this often.”
2). I went to a volunteer event this past week; last week was National Volunteer week (4/21-4/27) and those of us who tutor the English Language Learners enjoyed a potluck and the learners provided the food! It was a neat celebration! Some of the tutors talked about the progress their learners had made, but I chose not to talk about my learner J. I knew it’d make her uncomfortable and while I want to celebrate HER successes also, I want to do it in a different way. I asked Mom yesterday for some ideas of things she thought I could give to J for her hard work. She tries so hard. I make her work. I can tell I make her brain hurt sometimes (hah, no pun intended there!) – and she is such a good worker. Mom thought I could get her a plant or something if she gardens, but I have no idea if she does. I know she works long hours and lives with her sister, that’s about it. But to my point: I sat next to another tutor who I did not know. Without even skipping a beat this woman starts in about me texting. Something about her husband and how he thinks it’s a waste of time, they don’t see the point of paying for text messages, etc. etc. On and on about some such stuff. All I was doing was sending my Mom a text message about something I needed to tell her, and I was not going to call her in the middle of this potluck. I felt this woman was acting super passive agressively towards me about MY behavior….urg. There are purposes for texting sometimes!
(I was tired. I was hungry. I was already ticked because the Coordinator “didn’t know” I was coming, when I had already RSVP’d and that irritated me. I was happy to see J, but other than that? This woman was getting on my last nerve. I don’t know why. She just WAS.)
After a couple of minutes she says to me, “You have a cute hair cut. Very perky.”
I almost fell off my chair.