Today was B-Day

Not to be confused with:

  • Birthday
  • V-Day (Valentine’s Day)
  • D-Day (Invasion of Normandy)

I saw some women about my Dairy Queens today. I thought I had prepared myself pretty well, to be honest. The nurse called me yesterday and went through any last-minute questions I had (I had none, really. Only that I was mildly concerned that my stomach would hurt lying face down. You see, if you were wondering, this is how you do breast MRI’s. But, my stomach wasn’t angry about it at all. Thankfully. Now my head, that was another story.) I don’t know what it is about this type of MRI causing me such a painful headache. Anytime I have my “other” MRI’s I don’t have a headache – and they are checking my head on those!

But I am getting off topic. So, I got Dr. Mom (my driver, much to her chagrin) all set to drive me to the appointment today since I was “totally drunk” (my quotes). I heart some Ativan. Really. If your doctor approves, you should look it up. It’s some great stuff.

When I walked in the office door, it alllllllll came flooding back. All. Of. It.

But, I had put on my big girl panties already this morning. I am a fighter. I am a warrior. I was going to knock this MRI out of the park. And, I sure did!

After I got to the changing room, (albeit slowly because I was totally drunk, mind you) I texted Mom and said I was going in and then I greeted the MRI machine LIKE A BOSS! Got all propped up and picked my music (Michael Buble, thank you) – but, and here’s where I continue to be honest on my blog, I didn’t fit comfortably into the tube. All the cushions (for my comfort) weren’t making it so. I couldn’t breathe. The top of the tube was pressing onto my back and my ribs were constricted. Urg. Strike 1.

After we got that situated (she removed some cushions and that made all the pain go away it was smooth sailing) – the staff put the headphones on my ears and buzzed me into the tube. There’s a mirror below so that you can at least see out (I kept imagining my dad standing in the corner of the room looking over me) but there was no music. I had huge headphones over my ears but no music.  I kept thinking, “OK.  Any day now.  Come on you guys.  Get the music going.”

THEN, the scan began and for those of you who have had MRI’s before – the noises are LOUD! Normally, I get earplugs and then at this place they offer music as an added treat. BUT there was NO MUSIC AND NO EAR PLUGS!  STRIKE 2!  I pressed the button in my hand to make the scan stop and they appeared very “put out” that I stopped the exam. I said, “I think I need ear plugs if there’s no music.” and my thought was, “Ummm, hello crazies. Didn’t you just SAY you were going to turn on Michael Buble for me?”   So Nurse “whatever” comes in and about rams the earplugs so hard into my ears she could have hit my heart. She said I couldn’t move my arms, blah blah blah. (Now, maybe I am exaggerating a tad, but still. I wanted to tell her to get over herself. You shouldn’t be in this business if you have no compassion.) Even though she kept saying to me, “You’re in charge.”

Back into the tube I go, again. And, Michael comes on. My usual routine is to “go” to Disneyland in my mind.  I imagine myself at the front gate of the park, going through the turnstiles, and then walking the entire park.  I do this for every MRI I have.  It helps the time to pass very quickly.  Except…

The contrast comes into my veins about 10 minutes before the end of the test. Normally, thankfully, I don’t have a problem with contrast. But, I was having a problem with my head. It was hurting so bad my eyes were watering. And, I had saline coming into my veins and my bladder was getting full. AGAIN. I felt I was in a movie that was NEVER. ENDING.

20140218-211618.jpg

I wonder if they did laundry yesterday?

But, thankfully again, this movie today did end. I ran to the restroom and then mom was outside waiting for me. We went to Del Taco and she bought me a Strawberry Lemonade and I had some of her Pepsi to help my headache. (I didn’t break my “No Diet Coke” thing that I have going on since October of last year. I needed caffeine desperately. So, I compromised with straight Pepsi.)

Next week I see Dr. L and will get the results. You know, I’m still not 100% clear on MRI’s, mammograms, now that I had a hysterectomy, what, if anything changes my breast cancer risk due to Cowden’s Syndrome. Sometimes, I just hold on to a tiny sliver of hope that since NOT ONE SINGLE WOMAN IN MY FAMILY has breast cancer, don’t I have at least some good genes?

It’s kinda funny to me that I celebrated V-day with mom last week, and today we shared my B-day.  AND…my actual b-day is coming up in a few weeks!  The real b-day that you want to celebrate!  🙂

20140218-211642.jpgLike a CHAMP!

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2 thoughts on “Today was B-Day

  1. You hit the nail on the head with your description here! My head hurt so bad during my b-MRI that I thought I was going to puke! At least I was facing down! All I thought about was, are they going to have to stop the test if I do hurl? Then after I was done, I had to sit for quite some time because I was so dizzy. With my aching back, I opt for a mixture of ibuprofen, muscle relaxer & Vicodin. It dulls the throbs of pain. Good writing! You totally describe this joyful situation to a … B…”

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