Blogging refresher

I have been a slacker lately.  That’s not for lack of needing to write, or for lack of blog topics, for sure.  I don’t actually know why I have struggled getting to my computer.  I do know that I am feeling very overwhelmed lately, more than I remember in quite a while.  Had a brain scan last month, an EKG, and just last week a GI and endocrinology appointment.

Here’s what I need to write about today:

At the appointments last week I was told that I have a vermis (about the brain scan).  My first thought is, “What the hell is a vermis?”  This appointment wasn’t with my neurologist so this doctor was very clear to me that I needed to speak with the neuro.  (Obvi).  Anyway, I did a bit of research on what a vermis is, but couldn’t make sense of it so let it go.  I thought, “Maybe that’s why I am having vertigo and balance problems?  Is vermis scar tissue?  If so, that’d make sense, I think.”  It was just a mess, as always, in my head (no pun intended.  HA)

To be honest, this brain stuff usually trumps EVERY OTHER MEDICAL ISSUE of the day, but I was able to put it aside to focus on other things, and in another post I will write about the Global Genes Rare Patient Advocacy Summit that I attended.

But today I spoke with Dr. D (neurologist) and he said everything “looked fine” and blah blah blah “follow up”, etc.  I do see him and the neurosurgeon in a few months, and we chatted a bit about my balance and gait problems.  Now, these are problems TO ME.  I don’t know if anyone else gives a rip about them, but to ME IT IS A PROBLEM.  And the kicker?  There may not be a DANG THING that anyone can do to help me with it.  It may just be LIFE.  Again.  More life.  More change.  More adjustment.  More coping of NEW stuff that I CANNOT CONTROL OR CHANGE.  All these things happening to me that I can’t help or fix!  And, when I asked him about the vermis he explained that it’s normal anatomy of the cerebellum. It appears that the 2nd brain tumor is on/in/at/located there.

Oh crap.

I forget sometimes that I have another brain tumor, besides the (partial) one that’s still remaining.

2 brain tumors and I can’t get approved for Disability.

I can’t find a job.

I can’t do what I once did.

I have no money.

Now, before you interject here, I know I need to turn this around (I caught it right away, as soon as I started typing “I can’t” and I must write a post with the things I “can do”.)

But not today.  Not now.  Not tomorrow.  Just a word:

 

 

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Blogging refresher

Let's chat!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s