a little sad

I wrote this a few hours ago.

And, to be honest, I’m a lot sad.  And mad.  And angry.  And irritated.  And scared.  And terrified.  And pissed off.  I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK!

But, this is my life now.  Balance problems, memory deficits, vertigo, being in debt, scraping to get by, not having enough for some things I need, MRI’s and CT scans, ultrasounds, doctor appointments (just for January I already have 6 appointments SCHEDULED!) and the list goes on.

(In another post I will write about the good stuff.  This is not that post.)  However, I did just get back from working out.  And, I don’t feel like crying anymore about getting denied for Disability this second time.  And, I was named “Member of the month” (quotes added by me) at the work out studio.  🙂

Garbage sometimes just happens.  I know. 

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I just want a break from the garbage.

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5 thoughts on “a little sad

  1. I know it gets frustrating. My life has been constant doctors and lab tests for nine years this coming April, and I would admit that at times it does get me down. But then I always think of the alternative, in a box six feet under ground and I change my tune and look forward to the doctor visits and the tests because no matter how shitty life may seem sometimes, I am damned happy to still be alive in this earth. Fell better

  2. I won’t “like” this post … because there’s nothing likeable about functional deficits of being denied disability a second time. (That made me sad and mad for you, too!) But I’m SO glad you’re taking care of yourself and continuing your workouts and your blogging and saying, “Dammit, I’m MEMBER OF THE MONTH!” Because you’re still rockin’ it — in spite of all the garbage. So hang in there! I hope things will start looking brighter for you soon. Big hug from Minnesota.

  3. i’m so sorry to hear this – i can’t believe they would deny disability a second time after the doctor acknowledged you have medical reasons preventing you from getting a job!!!

    congrats on the “member of the month” – that is truly inspiring!

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