Because Cowden Syndrome means surgeries, apparently

Is there ever going to be a time in my life where surgery isn’t up for discussion?

I really don’t know what to do.  I have had most of the “main” surgeries associated with Cowden Syndrome (thyroidectomy and hysterectomy).  But, there’s another one:  double mastectomy.

If you were high-risk for breast cancer and were told there’s no “if” but “when” you will get it…what would you do?
What could you do?  The data “says” that I have an 85% lifetime risk to get breast cancer.

Yep; you read that right.

It’s on the table again.  It’s on my mind again; however, was it ever off my mind?

Not really.

I think I have (had?) convinced myself that every 6 months for the next 10 years (ish) of my life I would (could?) worry about my Dairy Queens?  Breathe a labored sigh of relief after every “normal” mammogram, but still hearing “dilated ducts” and wondering what the eff that means?  Alternating between a mammogram and another sort of test (ultrasound, MRI), and don’t forget the clinical breast exam kickers.

I can’t.

I can’t do this.

But, I can’t keep doing this either.

How do I make this monumental life decision alone?  How do I prepare for any and all mental ramifications if/when I decide to do this “next” surgery?

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5 thoughts on “Because Cowden Syndrome means surgeries, apparently

  1. its an awful decision to have to make. i hope whatever you decide brings you some peace of mind.

  2. What a tough decision to make. I wonder if a session of therapy talking it out to a stranger could help you understand what, in your heart, you are feeling is the right choice for you? Sometimes during therapy, my stances on things, my beliefs, etc. they just click into place for me, crystal clear, whereas I walked in not sure of anything.

  3. As others have said, this is an awful thing to contemplate. I hope you will find clarity soon … and that you will never look back and second-guess your decision. Peace to you, Heather.

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