Betcha’ you can’t spell it backwards!

Sometimes having Cowden Syndrome is a huuuge drag.  I mean, a big freaking drag.  Wrought with doctor appointments and scans a plenty, but that’s the nature of the beast.  To, “make sure I’m watched closely if something arises.”  You know, it’s funny because just last week I was thinking that things had been pretty quiet lately on the medical front.

Dun dun dun…

Oh, and I also want to add:  In case any of you are wondering still if I’m using Cowden Syndrome and Lhermitte-duclos Disease as an excuse to not live life, or why I don’t schedule all my appointments during the summer so I can teach, this is why.  When things come up, they come up.  I can’t say to my oncologist, “Oh sorry.  This isn’t convenient for me.”  I have to make my schedule conform to their schedule, plain and simple.  That’s just how it works when you have a hereditary cancer syndrome.  Deal. With. It.  (This is mainly for my ex-friend who verbally attacked me a few months ago with all this garbage.)  🙂

I saw my oncologist on Friday…

• I had a kidney ultrasound on Thursday; the last one I had was April 2014.  That one was unremarkable from what I remember.  This one?  Not so much.  Dr. L said I have a lump/bump on my left kidney.  She didn’t mention the “C” word initially, but when I asked her about it she said she didn’t know.  She named all sorts of things it could be (even technician “technique”) but I find that very interesting when the radiologist named it in her report.  An angiomyolipoma.  I’ve been told by a few people that lipomas are usually benign, and that’s a big sigh of relief.  But, I’m really really really really really trying to not turn myself into a pretzel.  Worst and best case scenarios, right?  I think I was given all of it, but the little inkling in the back of my mind is nervous.  Let’s be honest.  So, my doctor is calling for a repeat kidney scan this coming Thursday.  My heart is beating fast, but I’m remembering to breathe.  Breathing is the only thing I can do right now anyway.
• Dr. L is sending me to an oncological surgeon because of the EGD I had a few months ago.  I had “multiple polyps” in my esophagus and I guess that raised a bunch of red flags to some people. (Ha.)  I’m not sure what this appointment will entail, but all I know is next week I’m going to be super busy a just a tad nervous.  Overwhelmed?  Well, maybe.  But, I just can remind myself this isn’t brain surgeries and I “got this”.  🙂

The moral to this story is Cowden Syndrome sucks rocks, and it manifests so differently in so many people.  I have LDD, but not everyone I know with CS has LDD.  I may/may not have kidney issues (it is 33% lifetime risk of kidney cancer BTW with CS), so whatever will be will be.  I say that today with all honesty and openness, but I don’t know if I can hold that till Wednesday morning.  We’ll see.  The point is that I can’t give up.  I won’t give up.  I guess someone can be both scared and peaceful at the same time?