You know, I had a hard enough time managing my life before. And now, the added stress of managing doctor appointments and everything else that goes along with that? It’s a wonder I can keep things straight. Usually, I do. For the most part. But sometimes, things fall through the cracks.
Like today, for example.
I forgot to mention to the neurologist this afternoon one of the main symptoms I have dealt with that is getting worse. I have some profound problems (to me, at least) with my fine-motor skills. My mom overheard me talking with the office just now, and began to say some hurtful things to me. “Why didn’t you write it down? How could you forget? Didn’t you make a list?”
Guess what: I KNOW ALL THIS STUFF. I know I should make lists, and usually I do. I don’t plan to forget things, but sometimes IT HAPPENS. Does anyone think that by SAYING THESE THINGS TO ME, you are telling me something new? Something I didn’t already know? Like, OH YEAH. I never THOUGHT to write it down. Come on. Really. I don’t need anyone pointing out things to me that I am fully aware of already. OK? Move along.
My extended family was around, so they heard all this. Once again, I feel like the bad person because I am different. I could have kept my mouth shut, but I didn’t. I told my mom that she was saying some very hurtful things to me. I work very hard to NOT BE DIFFERENT, then when something like this happens, it just exacerbates my feelings of isolation even more. And now, I feel like crap. My mom will say nothing of this. I will not bring this up, because she will say I am overreacting, or taking things too personal, etc. That may be the case to a point, but I still have feelings and they are important and have value. I guess I need thicker skin. But, why can’t people be more mindful of what they say? I know that’s a long-shot. But, still. 🙂