Scanxiety is a thing

My next brain scan is sometime next week; and I must admit they still scare me.  They still bring up anxiety and horrible memories from the surgeries, even 5 years later.  I imagine this won’t ever get better.  Today, I am thankful for medication that helps me through this.

I half-wonder if there has been growth on either brain tumor.  (The last several years of brain scans the neurosurgeon told me there hasn’t been “significant” growth on either tumor, however I wonder what is causing my symptoms now?)  I seem to have had these last 5 years pretty “clear” without many side effects of from the surgeries, but I have always dreaded this day.

So, this is what I know.  I know I have 2 brain tumors and I now am experiencing more neurological issues.  I know that writing about it won’t change anything, yet I am human and can only handle so much.

In other news:  I went back to the gym a few weeks ago.  I am rearranging my schedule so that I can keep my commitment to myself to attend this class!  It’s been great to have my butt kicked again!

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