Wandering in Thanksgiving-land

At times I find writers who say everything I wish I could. This author is one of them, her blog is a source of truth and light to me.  AND she’s living with Cowden Syndrome too!

Stories from This Life

ampere-and-volta-with-frameNot all who wander are lost.

I’ve seen this phrase posted everywhere online, whether it is Facebook, a message board, or even in Second Life. It seems to resonate with everyone from wannabe hipsters to aging hippies.

For the past month or so, I’ve been wandering in my own spiritual desert, and honestly, I have been lost. I’ve quit praying or reading scripture. Everything–including me–seems dried up like the leaves that litter our front lawn.

Now in this in-between time of treatment, I’m finding it even harder to make it day by day. The structure of my weeks–once taken up by chemo and meds and doctor visits and everything–has disappeared suddenly, leaving me feeling oddly empty. Because the waiting for what comes next is sometimes harder than fighting.

Especially when you’re already wandering in your mind and heart. Days keep passing, but that oasis of spiritual clarity remains a mirage.

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