Yesterday morning I had another scan. I wish I knew how many I’ve had since diagnosis. (I bet it’s 10X more than I think.) You know, I
think hope wish that every time I go it’ll get easier. It doesn’t.
I have to ask the MRI technician every time the following questions:
- What if there’s a power outage while my scan is happening?
- What if something happens to you while it’s happening?
- What if there’s an earthquake while I’m in there?
- What if there’s a natural disaster? Or an emergency at the hospital while I’m in there?
The technician is pretty funny; he knows me by name and me him. He always talks me off a ledge, which I appreciate. Plus, I’m usually medicated so that helps 150%, too.
I practiced my visualization: I am at Disneyland. I am at the front entrance getting my ticket when the scan begins, then I start to make my way through the entire park. (It’s a neat little tip that works for me!)
Just like when I see the oncologist for my breast exam and think, “Is this the day she’ll find a lump?”, I found myself thinking yesterday, “Is this the day there will be growth on either tumor?”
We shall see.