So, this post is just to get all this crap out of my head so that hopefully I can sleep tonight.
Welp. I don’t sleep any other night, so why would tonight be any different?
LET ME BREAK THIS DOWN:
- I have 2 rare brain tumors
- I have a hereditary cancer syndrome called Cowden Syndrome
- I had 2 brain surgeries and am currently experiencing issues/effects from having my brain scrambled a few times
- Blah blah blah – I see a zillion doctors
- I apply for disability 3 1/2 years ago
- I GET DENIED for disability
- I can’t work, I can’t understand and process things as quickly as I used to, etc. etc. etc.
- Just a few weeks ago I found out about a job that’s in my field, PART-TIME, matches my degree area, pays INCREDIBLY, literally perfect on paper so I scrambled (ha!) and applied. I am very qualified for the job
- FOUND OUT TONIGHT THAT I didn’t even get called for a damn interview for the position
- ALSO, DO YOU KNOW THAT I CANNOT EVEN GET AN INTERVIEW FOR TARGET?!
- What does God want from me?
- One needs money in order to survive in this world!
- Filing bankruptcy has been one of my worst fears since diagnosis and I have been able to avoid it. Until now
- I can’t work. But, then when I find something that would be a STRUGGLE but do-able, I don’t even get a call to interview for it
- I am a good person! I have a degree!
- What the hell is wrong with me and what I am I supposed to do now? Sell my body on a street corner to make ends meet?