If I wanna get some sleep tonight …

I probably shouldn’t ask questions of my Mom about the brain tumors.

I’m all worked up now; I don’t think the Trazodone will work tonight, dammit.

We were just talking about wisdom teeth and how I’m the only person I know who didn’t get ANY! ๐Ÿ˜

(My Mom got 1 and she doesn’t remember about my Dad) and I said jokingly, “Maybe mine were in part of the brain tumor Dr. K got out”…..

Then it went off the rails (for me) right after this. Dr. K told my Mom in 2011 the smaller, encapsulated tumor is circular in shape.

And the 2nd tumor, the big one that is kicking my ass, AND WAS THE REASON I HAD TWO BRAIN SURGERIES 1 WEEK APART – has “fingers”. No border, I guess, right? ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿค•

And those damn fingers are going to grow and get deeper in my cerebellum. And continue to wreak havoc in my daily life.

I know we ALL struggle and have trials/tribulations – but how am I ever supposed to triumph over this? Can I? Will I? How?! I had such hopes and dreams for my life and future. ๐Ÿ’”

This freaking sucks; it sucks balls that I have to deal with this all by myself, I’m just saying. I’m almost 50 years old and I wish I could catch a break.

I hope(d) and pray(ed) that the Lord would bless me with a partner/companion/trusted friend who’d want to help me carry this load. Guess I’m crap out of luck. I’m tired. I’m tired of all this brain stuff. I’m tired of being alone – what friends I had – are gone. Do brain tumors scare people that much? Then IMAGINE what it’s like living with 2 of them? ๐Ÿ˜

I hate you Gangliocytoma.

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