I’m not sure what’s going on with me. I can’t stop crying. Literally. At a moment’s notice.
I want to be strong. I want to be smart. I want to be realistic.
- Sunday was the 10 year anniversary of my brain tumor diagnosis.
- Both of my cats are 17 years old and are in very rapid decline. Almost simultaneously.
- Next week is the 10 year mark of the first brain surgery.
- I am turning 50 years old next year.
- I stopped the anti-depressant this past May, with doctor support and direction.
- I am in the process of going back to college and am having difficulty with a certain department on campus. Also, I was denied financial aid and am in the process of trying to petition to have it reinstated.
This is a very, very short list.
I am so acutely aware of my own mortality and everything around me.
I don’t want to go back on an anti-depressant. I want to feel my feelings yet be very mindful of my limitations.
I am scared the weeping won’t ever stop.