Weep around the clock

I’m not sure what’s going on with me. I can’t stop crying. Literally. At a moment’s notice.

I want to be strong. I want to be smart. I want to be realistic.

  • Sunday was the 10 year anniversary of my brain tumor diagnosis.
  • Both of my cats are 17 years old and are in very rapid decline. Almost simultaneously.
  • Next week is the 10 year mark of the first brain surgery.
  • I am turning 50 years old next year.
  • I stopped the anti-depressant this past May, with doctor support and direction.
  • I am in the process of going back to college and am having difficulty with a certain department on campus. Also, I was denied financial aid and am in the process of trying to petition to have it reinstated.

This is a very, very short list.

I am so acutely aware of my own mortality and everything around me.

I don’t want to go back on an anti-depressant. I want to feel my feelings yet be very mindful of my limitations.

I am scared the weeping won’t ever stop.

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