I don’t want to get the needle. It’s not for me. I have prayed and researched and studied and it’s not for me. I don’t feel peace when I think about having that injected into my body. I should feel peace. I should have the right to decide for me. If you are going to reply with “but the needle will eradicate C19” please stop. People who got the needle are still getting C19. They are still getting sick. They are still getting hospitalized. They are still dying. The needle has not, and will not stop it. Save your breath.
However, if you choose to get the needle – then I APPLAUD you. If you made the choice on your own, or with your family/Higher Power/anyone else you choose to discuss your personal medical history with – I APPLAUD you. I support you in making your own choice for your body. WHY AM I NOT AFFORDED THAT SAME RESPECT? Please. For the love. I beg you. Why am I not afforded that same human decency? You know, I am reading everywhere that #MentalHealthMatters. Doesn’t my mental health matter too? Or just yours? How is that OK? How is that normal? I am terrified that the needle will trigger my brain tumors to grow. Period. End of sentence. The needle isn’t for me. I am in the process of asking my doctors to write me a letter of medical exemption if I need one for my employer. My first doctor refused today. My NEUROSURGEON. If I cannot find one doctor on my team how can the medical industry fail me like this? I am trying to have faith. To be positive. To live in hope and faith. But, I feel hopeless. And I am terrified. I am scared. I feel like I am sinking back to the very dark place I was in last month, and that scares me too. I am afraid as my thoughts aren’t good.