Daily Prompt: Catapult

So Wikipedia tells me that catapult means: to launch a projectile a great distance without the aid of an explosive device.  Hmmm.

My first thought was about all the Mythbuster episodes I’ve watched in the past and I wonder how many episodes had a catapult in it?

My next thought is:  Someone put me in one of these and catapult me to the moon.  I am done.

Please pray for me.

I am shocked with the judge’s decision.  I am shocked that living with 2 brain tumors and a rare hereditary cancer syndrome doesn’t call for any compassion, support, understanding, anything.  

The “advocate” told me yesterday that in reading the judge’s 23 page report of my denial, I told one of my doctors in January 2014 I was having hot flashes but wanted to work.  (I had a hysterectomy the month earlier.  I had to endure forced surgical menopause.  Of course I had hot flashes!  Plus, my brain was a hell of a lot different in 2014 than it is today.  It was better then.  Things were better then.)

So our trusted government servant made his decision (partly) on what I said over 3 years ago.

I guess I’ve learned to never tell my doctor anything.

 

Daily Prompt: Notorious

My first thought on today’s Daily Prompt is that song.  I mean, COME ON.

Which leads me to…

When I was in middle school, my friends and I thought we were really clever.

When we wrote notes to each other, instead of using our real names we created code names.  That way, if a teacher caught us, or if we lost any of them, we would be in the clear!

My code name was Duran Duran.  I am totally serious.

Another friend was Thompson Twins and a third friend was Culture Club.  (Wait?  Or was *I* Thompson Twins?  GAH.  I have a tin of my old notes from middle school. I am going to go check right now!)

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.I sure miss those days.

 

 

Daily Prompt: Qualm

I admit I had to look up the definition of qualm.

And, now I can’t figure out how to use it properly.

  • Qualmy
  • I am feeling a lot of qualm this morning
  • Are you qualmed today?
  • Who’s needs help feeling qualm today?
  • The news is on TV. Do you have qualms about that?

UGH.  So, I don’t know how to use it in a sentence.  I’m thoroughly embarrassed to say that, but that’s OK.

Admitting is the first step to fixing the problem.  🙂

Daily Prompt: Hospitality

Am I the only one who saw “hospital” first?  No?  OK, then.

I laugh that I draw that conclusion.  But, you can’t blame me.  Out of all my hospital stays, many of them weren’t very hospitable.  I felt no hospitality whatsoever.  🙂

I could write stories of my experiences, and in fact I have many times.

One of my (many) wishes would be to talk to every JERKY nurse, doctor, technician I have come across since diagnosis and give them a piece of my mind,  tell them off, sincerely ask them why they are in the medical field.  If you don’t have one ounce of compassion in your soul, DO A DIFFERENT JOB!

 

 

Daily Prompt: Pursue

What do I pursue now that my life is such that it is?

Initially my plan was a career in education.  But, the brain tumors (and surgeries) have put a kink in that plan.

I know there’s more to my life than stress, financial ruin, depression, despair.

Where do I find the “more”?

 

 

 

 

Daily Prompt: Bitter

First off:  hahahaahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.  I love this prompt!

Second:  Happy Monday!

Third:  I am reading this book and CANNOT put it down!  I was up until 1 am this morning (gah!) convincing myself, “One more chapter.  One more chapter!”  Without giving away too much of a spoiler, I was going to be VERY BITTER if Orson got hurt!

So, onto the daily prompt:  Let’s expound on this for a moment…

  1. I have 2 brain tumors
  2. I had to have a hysterectomy to manage my uterine cancer risk
  3. I live at home
  4. I am not able to work
  5. I am overweight
  6. I had thyroid cancer
  7. My esophagus is lined with an innumerable amount of polyps that (may) or may not turn malignant one day.
  8. I could find many more but let’s stop there.

I am not writing those things for pity.  I am writing them out as they are my reality since July 18, 2011.  Couldn’t I be bitter?  Shouldn’t I be bitter? And to be honest, I think in the beginning of this new life of mine I was in fact very bitter.  I had big dreams!  I was going to have a career and a family and be a wife and a mother and and and and….but in fact, my life didn’t turn out that way.

Today I have my bitter days, but now they are more bitter hours.  (Progress!)

Some days  I wake up pretty bitter that I can’t go out with friends, I can’t work, I can’t be a mother, I am not an independent woman, blah blah blah.  But, I can better name these moments now, and I while I may entertain the thoughts for a short while (because my feelings are my feelings and I want to honor them) then I move on and distract myself doing something else.  Whether that’s exercising, walking, volunteering, cleaning around the house, helping my family, writing on my blog, taking photographs (which is my new LOVE!) etc.

I think it’s very natural and normal to be bitter about things in our life.  What’s important is how we deal with that emotion.  Please don’t let it eat you up inside.  We are in this together.  ❤

Daily Prompt: None

Boy. Sometimes I can sit before my computer and just write and write and write.  Some days I am filled with angst about Cowden Syndrome and the brain tumors, and other days I can forget it all.  So weird.  Yet such a blessing.

At times I like to write about other things (my cats, books, my church) to convince myself that I am more than my medical condition.  These Daily Prompts are helpful.  When I read today’s prompt though, I couldn’t piece anything together.  Sure I would like:  NO more doctor appointments.  No more MRI’s.  Could I imagine saying one day:  No more MRI’s for me.  None!

Could I make the decision to stop scanning my brain?  Stop scanning my breasts, colon, kidneys, et al?

Doubtful.

Daily Prompt: Knackered

Uhm.

I am at a loss.

For words.

That never happens.

Really.

What does knackered even mean?  Really and truly.  I don’t know.

Exhausted?  Twitterpated?  Irate?  Drunk? Flabbergasted? Living with 2 brain tumors?  (HA. I couldn’t resist putting that in there.)

I guess I will do some research and find out the meaning.  Thanks WordPress for teaching me the stuff today.

 

Daily Prompt: Blanket


I’m sicker than a dog; burrowed under my blanket praying for daylight.

Please – Someone, somewhere, anywhere:  What do you do when you’re sick? I am drowning in Ginger tea with no end in sight.

#HalpMe

Daily Prompt: Avid

I am by no means a writer.  I use this blog to document my life since diagnosis, so I guess it’s more a journal, of sorts.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that!  But, I have always wished I could write well/better.  I like to do these Daily Prompts when I can to gain some practice.  Hopefully it’s improving my writing.

As a child, I was definitely an avid reader.  I remember being holed up in my room all weekend reading either these or these.  I probably didn’t see the sun on most weekends when I was a teenager. One of my best memories is going to the mall each month to get the next in this series! 


Then life happens and I kind of get out of the habit of reading.  Weird.  Books are in my veins.  I have worked at 2 different bookstores, too!

But lately?  Something has changed.  Since diagnosis of brain tumors and surgeries, reading has been much more difficult for me.  Not enjoyable.  Almost painful and completely irritating.  When I have to re-read the same paragraph many times, I just get so angry.  At myself, at my life’s situation, everything.

Thankfully I changed that mindset a few months ago.  I have picked up reading again with a vengeance almost.  I know how beneficial reading is, and I view it as physical therapy for my brain.

For the sake of my brain for now and the future, I am once again an avid reader.  I just finished this book and am now reading this one.

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Do you like to read? What would you recommend?