Daily Prompt [Static]

Static cling? Static on a radio station? Static in my hair?

Who knows.

But, I can definitely say that my life hasn’t been static these past several years.  The Internet says that static means lacking in movement, action, or change.  My entire life has changed!  My life now is moving in a direction that (still) paralyzes me with fear some days.

Brain scans, appointments with Endocrinologist, needing to schedule next colonoscopy and EGD, meeting with Therapist, figuring out how long I can avoid bankruptcy, and it goes on and on and on…..

Cowden Syndrome and Lhermitte-duclos Disease doesn’t give its folks a break!  Your life will never be static again.

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PS – Since you’re here, will you please visit my teespring.com site and consider buying a custom t-shirt supporting Rare Disease Awareness?  Thank you! ❤

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Daily Prompt [Viable]

Here’s the dictionary.com definition of viable Capable of living.

To be honest, since being diagnosed with 2 brain tumors and Cowden Syndrome, I do not feel capable of living.  My life now (financially speaking) isn’t practicable or workable.  I don’t have the capability to grow and develop because I have no money and keep postponing bankruptcy.

I could write every day about how destitute I am.  I know I could also write every day about my blessings and hobbies (my Wordless Wednesday posts) – but my blog is my safe space.  It’s my place to cry, scream, bitch, moan, whine, wail about being broke, alone, scared, terrified of my future, blah blah blah.  About being pissed off that my life continues to be a struggle.  About wishing I could catch a break.  About hoping I can have some good things happen for me.

I want a viable existence and Lhermitte-duclos Disease (at least) robbed me of this fact.  I’m so tired.

Daily Prompt [Cozy]

I love today’s prompt!  Whenever I hear the word cozy I envision tons of Christmas blankets on my bed with my cats nuzzled inside. (I literally have 3 throws on my bed at this time and I want to go burrow myself in them right now!)

Happy New Year everyone!

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While you’re here please take a moment to visit my GoFundMe and Teespring sites.  Thank you! Your support means so much to me. ❤

Daily Prompt [Miraculous]

While I get caught in some deep depression most days, I know there are many miracles in my life.  I could dedicate an entire blog to them.  However, not today.  I want to focus on my healing since my brain surgeries.  I know it is nothing short of miraculous that I am alive today and able to walk.

Daily Prompt [Inheritance]

Welp, thanks to Cowden Syndrome I don’t have any children to leave an inheritance.    This whole idea weighs heavily on me, too.  Will anyone care when I’m gone?  Will anyone want my small about of jewelry I have or will that be buried with me?

Daily Prompt [Elegance]

Ooooh, this one is a doozy.

I don’t know how I feel about it, actually.  

Sure, I think of elegant parties or weddings.  

But nothing else comes to my mind when I think of that word.

Unless I think really hard.

And dig deep.

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I think the most elegant people in the world are Mothers.

Which, I’ll never be.

 

 

Daily Prompt [Patina]

As I read through a few blogs earlier, my thoughts were, “What exactly is patina anyway?”  When I first heard that word, it was from a Facebook group of people who love Dooney & Bourke.  Many people would say, “Oh, my bag has a lovely patina.”

I only assumed it had something to do with the leather handles or edge of the bag?  Discoloration?

I still actually really don’t know, to be honest.  🙂

Daily Prompt [Knit]

When I first read the prompt for today, I thought about how much I love to crochet and yet I always wish I had learned how to knit.  I would imagine my Mom probably knows how, but who knows.  I do know that my Mom taught me how to crochet and she learned from her mother.  I have made tons of afghans throughout the years, but unfortunately don’t have access to photograph them.  I think they are shoved in the attic, but wrapped up of course.  🙂

If I think about learning to knit now, I get filled with anxiety.  So lame, but it’s true.  I can feel my tension rising even as I am typing this because my damn fingers don’t work like they once did.  I am only in my mid-40’s for Pete’s sake, but because stupid brain tumors things just aren’t as they once were.

Sigh.  I have the itch to create so I will continue editing photos as that is really enjoyable to me.  Check out my Wordless Wednesday posts to see some of my photos.

And please don’t forget to visit my teespring store as I am struggling to survive post diagnosis and am looking for ways to raise money.  Thank you! ❤

 

Daily Prompt [Neighbors]

I’ve lived in the same house my entire life, for which I count myself very blessed.

Our neighbors have changed quite a lot over the years though.

I have a sweet memory I would like to share:  When I was 6 years old, I had a friend named Ann who lived next door to me.  We were both the same age and pretty inseparable.

I remember sitting on my kitchen counter in my house and she would do the same in hers.  Since our kitchen windows faced each other we would talk to each other through them.

I loved doing that and love how these writing prompts can trigger long-lost memories. ❤

Daily Prompt [Release]

I’m not a poet. I’m not a political blogger.  I’m not a writer or scholar.

I’m just a person trying to make sense of their life.  A life filled with brain tumors and Rare Diseases.  A life full of fear of the future, yet very thankful for the roof over my head today.

I’ve learned many things since diagnosis.  One of the main ones is as follows:

In order to embrace fully your future, you must release your past.

My hope is that we can all learn how to do this, before it’s too late.

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NOTE:  Please click here to see my storefront.  You too can help raise awareness for Cowden Syndrome.  Thanks!