I don’t really know what to say when I see pictures like this. It makes my stomach hurt a bit.
But it’s me and who I am. ❤
As I have written before, July is always a heavy and rough month for me. Just because I ponder so much about where my life was and where I am now. You can read this post as a refresher, but basically I was diagnosed with a 5 cm. brain tumor in my cerebellum on 7/18/11 and then I had a 13 hour brain surgery 7/27/11. Then, I had another one a week later 8/4/11.
I know that people talk a lot about scars, what they mean, they give us power or strength to see what we’ve overcome, blah blah blah. I don’t really have anything wordy or eloquent to say about this scar because to be very honest: it just plain sucks balls.
I think the more I look at it, the more I talk about it or try to embrace it, it’ll be less taboo to talk about. I read this tweet a while ago that (paraphrased) said: You talk about your kids and your marriage and your job. I don’t have any of that and I talk about my brain tumors and my fear of when I will die and what will happen to me. I freaking love this tweet and hope you will be mindful of that if your friend has a medical situation they must address.
(NOTE: Many times, at least in my experience, just because someone has brain surgery doesn’t mean the doctors were able to remove the entire tumor. Please don’t just assume “Oh, they are fine” once they have recovered from their surgeries. I believe in some cases a neurosurgeon can remove the entire tumor, but that didn’t happen at all in my case. Plus, I have another smaller 2 cm. tumor that is encapsulated in my cerebellum. One of my sincerest hopes is that my life after surgeries and with brain tumors can help educate someone about them and how to better support us.)
I am glad today is almost over. Soon, or probably it should be already, July 27 will just be another day. I am working towards that….soon.
PS, if you’re on Twitter please follow #BrainTumorThursday. Thank you!