1st in a Series: A Day in My Life (ADIML) – also a test

Just waking up. (Sometimes, I sleep in the recliner in the living room.)

 

I love hot chocolate! Love love love! It was cool enough this morning to really enjoy a cup- in my favorite Starb mug.

 

Just received this from Amazon a few days ago. I am a member of a couple of 12-step programs and I am going to start writing on these daily meditations.

 

#obsessed. With them, 90 Day Fiance, and tie-dye.

 

Trying to wind down. #Gratitude

Give Time Time

I spoke with my therapist this morning.  Why is it so much easier to talking to her?  When she explains things, or responds back to something I said, in my mind I’m saying to myself, “Yep.  Yep.  Yep and yep.”  I wish I could just keep her in my back pocket sometimes and pull her out in emergency.  🙂

I have been making an effort to attend more Al-Anon meetings as of late, too.  I was struck by something my sponsor’s friend shared:  “Give time time.”

Oh, so much to unpack here, but I don’t want to set myself up for another sobbing fest.  I will continue to ponder that phrase and try to apply it.  Every moment of every day.  I have been grieving so very hard my co-worker and and feel guilty about my “lack of” grief for my sponsor.

I haven’t cried for the last 3 days.  Just for today.

Life goes on, as painful as it may be

I am still trying to navigate this grief.  Not doing super well, tbh.

Reading sometimes help to distract myself.

Taking and editing photos sometimes helps as well.  Visit me at @ZHeatherChamp to see!

Cowden Syndrome doesn’t stop for anything; and I continue to schedule and manage medical appointments in the midst of 2020.  🙂  Thank goodness for planners!

Please tell me how you are doing?

10 Days (EDIT: wtf it’s actually 6 days)

In the past 10 days, I have lost 2 friends suddenly to heart attacks.  One passed away this past Sunday, and the other one died the Sunday before that.

I am always honest on my blog.  This is the only safe place for me where I can be fully open and vulnerable, no judgement from anyone or anywhere because this small blog space is mine and mine only.

I am not doing well with these 2 losses.

Maybe I will write more about these painful and sudden losses of life.  These were 2 pretty important people in my life and I cannot see forward.

.

.

.

.

.

EDIT:  So, I cannot do simple math.  Last Thursday I found out a very good friend passed away suddenly.  And a few hours ago I found out a former colleague died.  That is a major blow to anyone, let alone 2 deaths in 6 days.

Wordless Wednesday 5/20/2020

Wordless Wednesday 5/13/2020

Bookz

I traded these at a Little Free Library today! Although reading is pretty hard for me post-op, I’ve had a deep love for books and reading since grade school.

Cowden Syndrome doesn’t stop for Covid19

I have thought about this for the last little while. I can’t begin to imagine how amazing this would feel! Everything (almost) is shut down, so why can’t my PTEN mutation be as well? (Insert sarcasm)…

I had to go outside today. Besides wanting the basics of some much needed Vitamin D, I had to see a doctor for my clinical breast exam. You might be wondering why I just don’t do it myself? I will leave that to another post. 🙂 This is how it’s been done since 2011 and it works for me. Every 3 months something is happening with my l a d i e s. Either a mammogram, MRI, or clinical breast exam. And, on the rare occasion a breast ultrasound.

Got my mask and ventured out this morning. Yay!

Even if I wanted to hole up under my covers due to Covid19, Cowden Syndrome won’t let me. So, I g u e s s that is at least 1 thing positive right now.

.

.

.

What are you doing during this downtime? Any fiction books or Netflix documentaries you could recommend?