As some of you know, I am scheduled to go before the Disability Judge next week. This date was postponed from an earlier date this summer because I had to get new representation.
Well, I received a call from my advocate (the new one) Wednesday morning. He asked for my permission to request another postponement. I was driving so I couldn’t hear nor follow very well what he was saying to me, but something about him “falling on his sword” and just having received over 1000 pages of my medical records. All this information shoved down my throat on my way to celebrate my Thanksgiving.
I felt ill. And, still do.
He’s known about this date for months. In fact, since this summer when I retained him to represent me. He mentioned something else about “not having prepared the brief” as he’d wanted to. He had been slammed with hearings this past month.
Well, right. MINE WAS IN THAT GROUP TOO! WHY AM I THE ONE WHO SUFFERS BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T DO “AS YOU’D HOPED TO”?
Is this a sign? Is this a sign that I shouldn’t be applying for Disability? My doctors seem to be on board, but why isn’t anyone else? I’m not making this up! I have 2 brain tumors, a hereditary cancer syndrome where I’m at risk to get many types of cancers, I have severe headaches several times a week, as well as having had 2 brain surgeries and am experiencing many symptoms from all that!
I guess part of me understands having just received the medical records. And, evidently the Judge needs to go through all that, too. So, if it was just because of that, I’d understand. But, he could have just been schmoozing me, too. How would I know any different? It’s not like I trusted him with the most important thing in my life.
I’m so confused. I’m so scared. IF the Judge doesn’t approve the request for postponement, then what? He has to do it anyway. Will he be ill-prepared? This is my life we’re talking about. It’s not like I can find another advocate at the drop of a hat? Hopefully the Judge will approve it, but then what? I will walk in Wednesday with an advocate who hasn’t done enough to help me?
So as of today we know nothing. I guess I’ll find out Monday.
Oh, and I’m still broke and destitute.
Did I mention that Lhermitte-duclos Disease and Cowden Syndrome have ruined my life?