In this present moment I should be getting ready for church and pondering my Primary lesson.
However, after reading a few of the other blog posts this morning on the Daily Prompt I am now thinking about how difficult it is for me to
be stay acknowledge the present. My mind is flooded with moments before being wheeled into operating rooms, moments after having a CT scan, basically moments in the past.
I see it clearly. I know what needs to be done. I just don’t know h o w to do it. How to get out of the past and into the present.
You know how great you feel when you’ve been sick for a while…then time passes and you feel better? I’m kind of getting a small glimpse of that. Physically and emotionally. Tiny glimmer of it. Had a very emotional week and then topped it off with seeing the surgeon yesterday and he had to do some work to my incision. I’ve had a GNARLY scab (sorry! gross!) there for the longest time and it has not budged one inch. Mom and I have thought it would have to get smaller eventually…and it would not budge or anything. So we finally went in to see him and he went to work. It was a bit uncomfortable for me but I was a brave little toaster. 🙂
It ended up that having this THING on my head kept the incision from healing all the way still. (Hello…I’m almost to 3 months from the 2nd surgery!?) but the GREAT thing is that it has healed from the inside…but he still had to do a bunch of stuff to make sure it was super clean. He had to shave more of my hair around it and stuff, but I was just so thankful that I could move my head and neck that far down for him to do what he needed to do to take care of it. So now I have more bandages on my hair and tape but my hair is still long enough to cover most of it. Work is postponed at least another week because of this –
AND – I’m having a CT scan on Monday. This past Monday I woke up with a headache and pretty nauseous. (How come I can’t remember if I’ve already posted about this or not? Oh yep – because I had brain surgery a while ago…hehe!) – and some other symptoms with my balance and stuff. I mentioned this to the surgeon so he ordered the CT scan. He reminded me (or reassured me, I guess) that the tumors I have are slow-growing tumors (like YEARS) and that the ventricles in my brain won’t just “crap out” and stop working. Because I was a bit concerned the shunt was going to be happening sooner rather than later. Thankfully it doesn’t work that way….