Not a Blogger

I am not a blogger.  I’m just a girl living with a rare brain tumor and genetic condition.

But, I wish I were one.  I wish I could dedicate hours on end to writing witty, well-written, interesting posts about life and “stuff”.  Stuff like:  travel, fashion, books, entertainment, etc.

Alas.  That’s not me.  I’m just trying to cope.  Trying to get by.  Trying to process.  Trying to keep a smile on my face without succumbing to the anxiety of “regular” life on top of the things in the first sentence.  And, why I started this blog was because I was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  Period.  No other reason.  However, as these 3 years have crept by, I have incorporated some things on my blog to show that there are parts to me that are not brain tumors and rare diseases.  Like my “Fun Fact Fridays”, and my Volunteering posts (although those have dwindled the past few months), pictures of my cats on my Instagram profile.

Anyway, a few things have happened these past few weeks that I wanted to update:

  1. No word yet on Disability.  Last time I may have shared here I was denied the first go-around.  We are now in the 2nd go-around and I am just waiting.  (For the record:  I don’t do well with “waiting”).
  2. I met with a psychiatrist a few weeks ago.  My primary care doctor felt it would be a good idea, and I was right there with her on that.  Irony that I had seen this psychiatrist about a month earlier for a different reason!  She mentioned “Death Anxiety”, suggested I read a book that is on its way from Amazon.  (I will update more later on the Death Anxiety.  She was right on the money with this.)
  3. I am due for my next mammogram this August.  I talked with my oncologist yesterday and she said my “insurance” is “encouraging” her (my term) to schedule me for a “screening” mammogram, which is different from the ones I have had previously.  Screening includes fewer pictures.  SO.  I’m not excited about this information since I am high-risk for breast cancer (85% lifetime risk) and I don’t want to change anything in my screenings.  However, Dr. L said she needed to get more information on what exactly the difference is in Screening/Diagnostic (besides fewer slides) and that since I had the hysterectomy and had my ovaries removed, it might be “OK” since I don’t have any estrogen.  Or something. I  kind of got confused here but the bottom line is:  Dr. L said she’d fight for me and that she is my advocate.  I have to trust her that she will not OK something for me that she KNOWS AND FEELS is not OK for my overall health.
  4. If anyone ever tells you that Hot Flashes are OK, Normal, Not A Big Deal…you can tell them that I SAID they can jump off a bridge!  I have fought these hot flashes since December and they are a NIGHTMARE.  I don’t sleep. I put sleep off as long as I can because I know what will happen…it’s been awful.  Just awful.  When I saw the psychiatrist (another Dr. L) she wrote a prescription for Trazodone.  I HEART TRAZODONE!  I am able to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep and I do not wake up with hot flashes.  PRAISE ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY IN THE WORLD!
  5. I am taking Yoga and Zumba classes.  I love it!  These classes are so incredible and want to know a secret?  In my next life I want to be a Zumba instructor!  🙂  (I told the Zumba instructor last week that you “know it’s a great workout when you have sweat in your ear!”

This is all for now folks.  Happy Thursday!


Fun Fact Friday 5/16/14

If you follow my Instragram page, you will see that I went to Burbank this week to see a live taping of The Ellen DeGeneres show.  🙂  If you live in the  Southern California area you know it was like THE. HOTTEST. DAY. EVER.  

Someone in our group said, “The world is on fire and we’re at Ellen.”

(NOTE:  By no means was she making light of what’s going on in San Diego county.  It was just an ironic play on words in more ways than one.)

Fun Fact Friday 5/2/14

My new post- Zumba look.  :)

Would you believe me if I said I paid $10,000 to look this good in this selfie?

For quite a while I have wanted to go to a Zumba or Yoga class.  I do have some Yoga DVD’s, but it’s just not the same.

This week marks the end of my 2nd week doing both classes.  I’m hooked!

Me (Photo of the day #2, 4/5/14)


Walking at the park today, I felt strong. I felt like the “Old Heather”, the one before brain tumors and rare diseases. I felt normal. I forgot about hospitals and doctor appointments; brain tumors and Rare Diseases. I walked. I breathed deep. I owned my afternoon. I did it and it was mine.

It was good.