Wordless Wednesday 1/4/23

Goodbye 2022!

Hi! I am still here. My health – rather stable right now and I will take that! How are you? Any plans for the weekend?

Scan, scan, scan away

Last week I had my brain scan and kidney scan only a few days apart. It was a lot. Just a lot. And, believe it or not, I only needed my Xanax for one of them. ๐Ÿ™‚ #winning

Shock and awe

I can’t believe I almost forgot I have a blog. Who am I?

I cannot begin to explain how busy and chaotic life is right now (hi, everyone, right?!)

I changed insurances and while I knew it would be a bumpy first few months with trying to establish care, I honestly couldn’t predict it would be *this bumpy. I am doing it; just like I always do, but sheesh.

Have had and continue to have a butt load of appointments and I am getting overwhelmed. I just decided to postpone my next brain scan until June because I need to breathe.

Is anyone still here? How are you doing?

Much needed update/clarification

I need to clarify something on my previous post. But before I do so, do you remember this post from my early days here? If you have a moment, please do check that link. That doctor was Dr. F., and she was beyond incredible, supportive, and knowledgeable of all things thyroid and beyond. Getting diagnosed with Cowden Syndrome, after 8 years since my ThyCA diagnosis was huge. I am so thankful she was on the road with me.

So, let’s move on to my most recent Endocrinologist, whom I will call Dr. Savage. ๐Ÿ™‚ You know, with my hundreds (probably accurate) of various doctors I have seen these past 10 years, there are 4 total who will always be in my heart: my neurosurgeon, my first PCP, Dr. F. and now Dr. Savage. They all deserve an entire blog with thousands of post dedicated to them and their service to ME, their patient. #grateful

Anyways, I posted a few days ago about what Dr. Savage said to me on my last appointment. I didn’t take offense! I was joking in my post actually (with my reaction). I won’t go into it again here about depressed and horrible my mental health was a few months ago. I was in a very dark place, quite scary. Good gracious meds. can be a lifesaver. I begged and pleaded with Dr. Savage to write me an exemption for my job, just in case I need one. Dr. Savage couldn’t/wouldn’t write me one. Also, I won’t go into it here about how much that killed and destroyed me; he knows. Dr. Savage knows. But, regardless if *that issue, I know he cares about me as his now (former) patient.

We did get me a current thyroid ultrasound because you know, Cowden Syndrome and thyroid issues go hand in hand in hand in hand. Dr. Savage told me the scan was “OK”. I don’t ever use normal because CS isn’t normal. He said the tissue, which is *not thyroid tissue, is stable. If I were still his patient he would scan me next December, unless labs come out funky or something before that. The tissue is probably a nodule, and thanks once again to Cowden Syndrome, I did have a multi-nodular goiter that took 5+ hours to remove back in 2003.

Happy New Year to one and all. I pray 2022 we all can see some light. Somewhere. At the end of this hellacious tunnel we are in.

Savage

My Endo is SAVAGE. I walked into our appointment today and first thing he says is, โ€œYouโ€™ve gained weight.โ€

Uhm I knoooooooow this. Kinda due to out of control anxiety due to C 1 9 and how the world has LOST THEIR MIND and how people think they can remove my choice over my body, etc.

But today was hard as I had to say goodbye to him. Changing insurance because money. Life is so weird sometimes. But even more so with 2 Rare Diseases. More soon. ๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿป๐Ÿคถ

November 2021 check-in

Hi. It’s been a quite a while; at least it feels that way. Just quickly checking-in. I think the old anti-depressant is doing its job helping my anxiety as I am not crying instantaneously as I was a few months ago. As of this post, I am still employed. Haven’t heard anything from the “governor” and what may happen is his tyrannical mind. But, I feel a tad more confident that if I have to walk away from my job to protect my health and agency, the Lord has got me. He has something better in store for me. I just have to exercise my faith in Him.ย 

It too much

My head hurts. This is too much for me to process. All I want to do is sleep. People are losing their minds. People are OK with *me losing my career because I will not comply for WHAT IS NOT RIGHT FOR ME. Itโ€™s too much. I canโ€™t handle this. I need help. And sleep.

What planet do we live on?!

I was just told that my hospital is refusing to grant any medical exemption for the needle to ANY patient. Period. This is not OK! If you are living with 2 rare brain tumors that have been stable for 10 years and have no qualms about being forced to take it, please contact me. Otherwise, if you feel that this rule from the hospital is OK, please unfollow me now. We will not ever agree to disagree over this.

My “doctors”, and I use that term loosely, work for ME. They are supposed to advocate for ME. What the hell am I paying so much money for if this is the treatment I receive from them? This is utter BS. I have a voice and my voice matters. I WILL NOT BE SILENCED OR BULLIED. I have called the grievance line for the hospital and you can sure as hell bet I am not going to take this lying down.