I fell down or happy 1000th post

A few days ago I blacked out and hit my head on a wall in my house. Scared the bloody hell out of my mom; I’m still kinda in shock about what happened and I try not to think about it. I took an ambulance ride and had a bunch of tests in the ER including a CT scan on my head and a chest X-ray.
I was told by the doctor that everything came back “OK” and there didn’t seem to be any huge issues in my head. So, that’s great news.

Interestingly enough I had an appointment already thankfully scheduled with my neurologist yesterday. He wants to do an EEG and I have my next brain scan, #scanxiety, in December and he was fine with waiting that long to get a scan.  

I’m terrified it’s going to happen again at any moment.

Scanxiety is a thing

My next brain scan is sometime next week; and I must admit they still scare me.  They still bring up anxiety and horrible memories from the surgeries, even 5 years later.  I imagine this won’t ever get better.  Today, I am thankful for medication that helps me through this.

I half-wonder if there has been growth on either brain tumor.  (The last several years of brain scans the neurosurgeon told me there hasn’t been “significant” growth on either tumor, however I wonder what is causing my symptoms now?)  I seem to have had these last 5 years pretty “clear” without many side effects of from the surgeries, but I have always dreaded this day.

So, this is what I know.  I know I have 2 brain tumors and I now am experiencing more neurological issues.  I know that writing about it won’t change anything, yet I am human and can only handle so much.

In other news:  I went back to the gym a few weeks ago.  I am rearranging my schedule so that I can keep my commitment to myself to attend this class!  It’s been great to have my butt kicked again!