For the last 6 months or so I have noticed my toes feeling ice cold. As if I have somehow dipped them into a bucket of snow.
Brought this up to the neurologist on last visit. He ordered a nerve test and results were “normal”. (I always use that term loosely because Cowden Syndrome and because Lhermitte-duclos Disease.)
Neuro told me at last visit to let him know if the coldness increases or changes directions.
This shit scares me to death. But do you know why it scares me so much? I try so hard to convince myself – AND OTHERS – that I am normal.
I feel like a fraud on most days that end in Y and I fear the day my world comes crashing down around me. And as my body continues to change I am just dreading that day when it finally fully betrays me and I cannot fake out the “normalcy” any longer.
I guess that’s already happened, eh? 😑
I’m just going to bed and adding my additional pair of socks. Praying for sleep and that the Trazodone works its magic tonight.
I’ve made that my thing over the years: Every time I have a brain scan I treat myself to new fun socks!
This year’s pair is an early Christmas gift from one of my BFFs.
(Can’t sleep. Stalling. Putting it off.)
Tomorrow will be here before I know it. Come what may!
So, we all think about bad things going on in our life. Right? It’s hard not to think about struggles, fears, unknowns. All of that.
Part of the reason I have this blog is to get it all out…no filter here.
But last week when I read this post, I was moved. Right before reading it I had a huge post prepared about all my woes. 😦
I decided to make today’s post different:
The Good List
- Going to Yoga class
- Going to Zumba class
- My car – that it runs well
- My nephews who make my heart sing every day. When I hear them call me “Auntie”, I know I can do anything!
- My cats Tiggerwigger and Konacoffee, who love me unconditionally
- The Gospel of Jesus Christ
- Fuzzy socks
- My beanie baby “Max”, who I got years ago after my brother rescued a dog that he named Max. I loved this dog more than anything!
- My favorite movies: “The Holiday”, “Santa Clause 3”
- My recovery from 2 brain surgeries
- My mother who helps me in many, many, ways
This list isn’t all-inclusive. It’s a work in progress for sure!
Dear Readers – what’s on your Good List?