Daily Prompt: Blanket


I’m sicker than a dog; burrowed under my blanket praying for daylight.

Please – Someone, somewhere, anywhere:  What do you do when you’re sick? I am drowning in Ginger tea with no end in sight.

#HalpMe

Daily Prompt: Avid

I am by no means a writer.  I use this blog to document my life since diagnosis, so I guess it’s more a journal, of sorts.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that!  But, I have always wished I could write well/better.  I like to do these Daily Prompts when I can to gain some practice.  Hopefully it’s improving my writing.

As a child, I was definitely an avid reader.  I remember being holed up in my room all weekend reading either these or these.  I probably didn’t see the sun on most weekends when I was a teenager. One of my best memories is going to the mall each month to get the next in this series! 


Then life happens and I kind of get out of the habit of reading.  Weird.  Books are in my veins.  I have worked at 2 different bookstores, too!

But lately?  Something has changed.  Since diagnosis of brain tumors and surgeries, reading has been much more difficult for me.  Not enjoyable.  Almost painful and completely irritating.  When I have to re-read the same paragraph many times, I just get so angry.  At myself, at my life’s situation, everything.

Thankfully I changed that mindset a few months ago.  I have picked up reading again with a vengeance almost.  I know how beneficial reading is, and I view it as physical therapy for my brain.

For the sake of my brain for now and the future, I am once again an avid reader.  I just finished this book and am now reading this one.

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Do you like to read? What would you recommend?

 

 

Through the other side

Well, folks.  I made it through the hearing.

I have refocused my thoughts since then to positive ones, but believe me, it’s very hard.

When I walked out of the hearing room I broke down.  From the pent-up emotions, things the judge said, my stress, everything.  I just lost it.

But, in the time that’s passed I keep reminding myself that: I DID MY VERY BEST.  There’s absolutely no point in rehashing what I “wish I would have said”.  I will hear the judge’s decision in 30 days.

I am repeating to myself a mantra:  “I am health.  I am wealth.  I am love” – which translates to: I don’t want breast cancer.  I want to be financially stable.  I want significant love in my life.

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Thank you everyone for your prayers and good thoughts.  I am envisioning success!

 



 

Hey everyone!

Why does the word “everyone” look weird to me?  Like I spelled it wrong?

Anyway.  I just wanted to check in with you.  I know I’ve been a bit sporadic with posting.  Some days, my life is pretty basic and boring:  I go to the gym and read (true story).  Other days I am overwrought with medical appointments, scans, almost daily migraines, problems with my esophagus, etc. and I feel like a weirdo (also, true story).  I try to stay busy and distract myself with things that are beneficial for my mental health:  I love listening to podcasts (do you recommend any? I just finished this one and HOLY COW! I could write more on that soon); volunteering; reading (obvi); editing photos on Hipstamatic.

Of course, I didn’t ask for this life of brain tumors and hereditary cancer syndromes.  Nevertheless, it’s mine.  My point of writing is that this week I finally have my disability hearing before a judge.  To say I’m terrified would be an understatement, you know?  I have this weird feeling in my chest:  Anxiety, obvi.  But, I can still vividly see and feel and hear my diagnosis of July 18, 2011 as if it were yesterday.  Literally.  And, it’s like my entire life since that day is rolled up into a big ball and this week it’ll come to a head.  Like, what is the purpose of my life since then?  It’s been 6 1/2 years (just 3 1/2 years for the disability process alone) and have I been wrong all along?  What will this judge think?  Is there enough “medical evidence” to prove to the judge that I am different now and can no longer work?

I pray that there is.

I’ll be in touch soon.  If you have any extra prayers, please send them my way, and to the judge too.  ❤  Thank you.

Links of reference

If you don’t already know, I have a place on my blog where I’ve gathered links of PTEN/Cowden Syndrome information.  I also wanted to share that there is a PTEN Hamartoma Tumor Foundation website:  Please visit it often!

Thank you!

Quiet

I know I have been pretty quiet here as of late.

I wish I could say it was because I had nothing to write about.  Unfortunately, that’s not the case.

Next week is my disability hearing.

I have worked so hard to stay positive and hopeful.  It’s a moment by moment deal for me.  I find ways to distract myself when I start to stress out about what’s going to happen before the Judge.

Working on keeping my head down and plugging along.

I’ll be back very soon.