The lesser of 2 evils?

…but right at diagnosis (after the brain surgeries) I had 2 huge fears.  Fears that kept me up night:  that I would have to have the shunt and have to file bankruptcy.

Thankfully, I have avoided the shunt so far.

I met with an attorney today to discuss my bankruptcy options.

I feel: sad, depressed, scared, alone, anxious, and a ton of other emotions that I haven’t yet identified.

No one can tell me what to do.

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But, what do I do? 

 

2016 in review

I just did my taxes and I have to pay $607 in Federal and $120 in State taxes.

I am in shock.  And probably denial.  Is this really happening?

For anyone who’s heard lately of the GoFundMe scams, I assure you this isn’t a scam.  My life isn’t a scam.

My life is a mess.  My life is out of control.  My GoFundMe isn’t a scam.  Please believe me.

I think it’s time to look at bankruptcy.

 

EFF YOU COWDEN SYNDROME. 

EFF YOU LHERMITTE-DUCLOS DISEASE.

 

I hate you both so much.

My Saturday night

For those of you who don’t know,  I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and once a month I have a calling to teach the women in Relief Society.

This weekend I was preparing for the lesson and came across something that stopped me in my tracks and I would like to share it with you:

https://www.mormonchannel.org/watch/series/mormon-messages/hope-ya-know-we-had-a-hard-time-3

Hope you have a great week. ❤

 

I know there’s only so many ways:

…to say, “I’m tired.  It’s hard.  I am scared.  I am alone.  I am struggling” because, let’s face it.  That’s pretty much the entire theme of this blog and I have pretty much got that covered.  If it can be said, I probably have already.

But part of the reason I continue this blog is so that if anyone happens to find it who’s tired, scared, or lonely too, will know they aren’t alone.

Here’s some things going on here as of late:

  1. Our refrigerator broke.  We have been living out of a cooler for dayzzzzzzzzzz.
  2. I’m dealing with daily migraine headaches
  3. I was rear-ended last week while I was in my car, parked.  Thankfully there wasn’t any damage to my car and I am feeling better now
  4. The unstable man at the doctor last week is still on my mind.  That incident changed me.
  5. My passenger side car door was dinged by an older man.  When I got out of my car to check if there was any damage, he started to verbally assault me in the shopping center parking lot.  Thankfully there were several people around who saw the incident and I thankfully had my cell phone in hand.  When I started to take his picture he quickly de-escalated.
  6. I haven’t done my taxes yet
  7. My car needs some desperate work to it
  8. I had my mammogram yesterday.  Those days are always heavy on my heart.  85% lifetime risk of breast cancer never gets any less scary.
  9. Out of the 2 pairs of jeans I own, one of them is coming unraveled.  It’s quite funny.  No, not funny – sad.

I can go on. But, I won’t.  That’s enough for me.  For today and hopefully tomorrow.

 

Sharing with a colleague about Rare Disease Day and how I’m involved

With humble thanks

I think most of the Internet knows of my financial distress – and to those who are important and trustworthy, I don’t keep it quiet.  I do try to focus on the positive, yes.  But, the reality of life with brain tumors and a rare, hereditary cancer syndrome is tough almost. every. day.  (I’m not discounting the hardships other people face.)

But, I digress.

Trying to steer this post from being “too ranty”. hehe

Recently, I was on Twitter and had shared my gofundme link or had tweeted something brain tumor-financial hardship related.  Someone reached out to me and suggested I get in touch with this organization.

I got on that in a hot second.

To be honest, it’s difficult for me to be positive (or hope) for good things to happen because my life doesn’t work that way.  My life is hard.  I’m alone.  I’m managing my life as best I can but forced to depend on my family, which is limited at best.  How I haven’t had to file bankruptcy is beyond me. But I don’t think I can put it off much longer, either.

Anyway.  I contacted Mission 4 Maureen immediately.  By their grace, I was granted financial help.  Thank you Mission 4 Maureen!  Thank you for what you do to help those of us living with brain tumors.  And, I ask you dear readers:  Please visit their website.  If you do Facebook, please consider “LIKING” their page and support them in any way can.

I thank you sincerely.