Welp, thanks to Cowden Syndrome I don’t have any children to leave an inheritance. This whole idea weighs heavily on me, too. Will anyone care when I’m gone? Will anyone want my small about of jewelry I have or will that be buried with me?
Ooooh, this one is a doozy.
I don’t know how I feel about it, actually.
Sure, I think of elegant parties or weddings.
But nothing else comes to my mind when I think of that word.
Unless I think really hard.
And dig deep.
I think the most elegant people in the world are Mothers.
Which, I’ll never be.
Tomorrow morning I have my next brain scan.
Part of me feels like I just had one yesterday, and the other part of me feels like it was 10 years ago when I last had one. Such mixed feelings!
It doesn’t get any easier; it’s just different now.
As I read through a few blogs earlier, my thoughts were, “What exactly is patina anyway?” When I first heard that word, it was from a Facebook group of people who love Dooney & Bourke. Many people would say, “Oh, my bag has a lovely patina.”
I only assumed it had something to do with the leather handles or edge of the bag? Discoloration?
I still actually really don’t know, to be honest. 🙂
I suppose it’s a good to focus on other things besides brain tumors and hereditary cancer syndromes. But, to be honest, today isn’t that day.
We had to put my cat to sleep on Saturday. I am devastated. Shredded. Torn up. Ruined. I cannot describe the intense bond I had with this boy. He had been abandoned, and in this past year we fed him and gave him shelter and love. It was only about 6 months ago, when we knew he was losing his eyesight, that we brought him in our house full time. He was loved. So, very loved.
I will miss you Shadow every moment of every day. Until I see you again. ❤
When I first read the prompt for today, I thought about how much I love to crochet and yet I always wish I had learned how to knit. I would imagine my Mom probably knows how, but who knows. I do know that my Mom taught me how to crochet and she learned from her mother. I have made tons of afghans throughout the years, but unfortunately don’t have access to photograph them. I think they are shoved in the attic, but wrapped up of course. 🙂
If I think about learning to knit now, I get filled with anxiety. So lame, but it’s true. I can feel my tension rising even as I am typing this because my damn fingers don’t work like they once did. I am only in my mid-40’s for Pete’s sake, but because stupid brain tumors things just aren’t as they once were.
Sigh. I have the itch to create so I will continue editing photos as that is really enjoyable to me. Check out my Wordless Wednesday posts to see some of my photos.
And please don’t forget to visit my teespring store as I am struggling to survive post diagnosis and am looking for ways to raise money. Thank you! ❤
I’m trying to kick up my exercise again, because surgery last month put a wrench in things.
crazily, luckily, I got a quick walk in yesterday (I should be doing more intense workouts, but I’ll never stop being surprised at how much walking challenges my brain/balance, etc.) I was pondering about my life (blergh!) and I realized: WOW. I HAVEN’T HAD ANY COWDEN SYNDROME STUFF GOING ON THE LAST LITTLE WHILE. (Granted, surgery. But that wasn’t CS related technically.)
I felt like a normal person! Albeit, for about 15 minutes. But, still I’ll take it.
Because then I remembered I have my brain scan next month because gangliocytoma. And, while choosing to have the prophylactic hysterectomy in 2013 helped tons (no uterine cancer here baby!), I still have to get a clinical breast exam every few months, in addition to the all the other scans.
I guess this is part of what life entails, right? Little moments of breathing in between the big stuff.
Or in my case, the big brain stuff.