…but right at diagnosis (after the brain surgeries) I had 2 huge fears. Fears that kept me up night: that I would have to have the shunt and have to file bankruptcy.
Thankfully, I have avoided the shunt so far.
I met with an attorney today to discuss my bankruptcy options.
I feel: sad, depressed, scared, alone, anxious, and a ton of other emotions that I haven’t yet identified.
No one can tell me what to do.
But, what do I do?
I just did my taxes and I have to pay $607 in Federal and $120 in State taxes.
I am in shock. And probably denial. Is this really happening?
For anyone who’s heard lately of the GoFundMe scams, I assure you this isn’t a scam. My life isn’t a scam.
My life is a mess. My life is out of control. My GoFundMe isn’t a scam. Please believe me.
I think it’s time to look at bankruptcy.
EFF YOU COWDEN SYNDROME.
EFF YOU LHERMITTE-DUCLOS DISEASE.
I hate you both so much.
…to say, “I’m tired. It’s hard. I am scared. I am alone. I am struggling” because, let’s face it. That’s pretty much the entire theme of this blog and I have pretty much got that covered. If it can be said, I probably have already.
But part of the reason I continue this blog is so that if anyone happens to find it who’s tired, scared, or lonely too, will know they aren’t alone.
Here’s some things going on here as of late:
- Our refrigerator broke. We have been living out of a cooler for dayzzzzzzzzzz.
- I’m dealing with daily migraine headaches
- I was rear-ended last week while I was in my car, parked. Thankfully there wasn’t any damage to my car and I am feeling better now
- The unstable man at the doctor last week is still on my mind. That incident changed me.
- My passenger side car door was dinged by an older man. When I got out of my car to check if there was any damage, he started to verbally assault me in the shopping center parking lot. Thankfully there were several people around who saw the incident and I thankfully had my cell phone in hand. When I started to take his picture he quickly de-escalated.
- I haven’t done my taxes yet
- My car needs some desperate work to it
- I had my mammogram yesterday. Those days are always heavy on my heart. 85% lifetime risk of breast cancer never gets any less scary.
- Out of the 2 pairs of jeans I own, one of them is coming unraveled. It’s quite funny. No, not funny – sad.
I can go on. But, I won’t. That’s enough for me. For today and hopefully tomorrow.