Daily Prompt [Insist]

I’ve read different blogs for about 30 minutes this Saturday morning.  Trying to understand what I am feeling, or at least distract myself from what I am feeling.

Some mornings I awake and think to myself, “I should write today.  There’s so much anxiety coursing through my veins, I need to get it out.  I need to cry, scream, rant, process it all here.  I am actually quite nervous about my breast MRI next month.  I wonder if this will be the day I get the news?  Will I hear the “C” word that day?

Then I have my consult for my colonoscopy and EGD this month.  My esophagus hasn’t been very friendly these last few years and I wonder how my throat looks now? I also just found out that I am now going to have to pay every time I see my doctors, and believe me, there are many that I see.  So, I don’t work with any regularity and was denied disability, so how in the world can I afford to pay the doctors every time I see them?  OH, I CANNOT PAY THEM.  That’s right.

And, even though I can work on-call some days, when I am feeling well enough, I still cannot avoid bankruptcy.  And, I had 2 job interviews these past 2 weeks and didn’t get either job!  What gives?  Why can’t I catch a break?  My life sucks and I cannot get my head above water.  I feel like I am drowning, literally.  I don’t insist on much.  Really.  And now, I don’t hope too much either.  I’m tired of the stress. When will it end?

Whoa.  As I just wrote that I felt a lightning bolt – that’ll happen when I’m dead.”

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Daily Prompt [Insist]

  1. When you hit the rock bottom, you start climbing up. Believe me, when things seem the bleakest, they can’t get worse.
    Wishing you a better tomorrow.

Let's chat!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s